Proverbs in any language are known as the "Gems of Wisdom." But what when these proverbs are misogynistic and used as a weapon against women?
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| Proverb Against Women In English |
Linguistic Sexism In Communication
Linguistic communication is a crucial aspect of our lives where our values and norms are categorized. In communication, linguistic sexism exists in almost all cultures. Its purpose is to suppress women, and proverbs against women are the best examples of linguistic sexism. In nearly all cultures, we can find thousands of proverbs against women, which are irrational and based on norms, stereotypes, and gender inequalities. Here are a few examples of these, the tongue of a woman is her sword, which never rusts; a woman goes seven steps ahead of the devil; the brain of a woman lies in her toes or heels; there was never a conflict without a woman; where a woman rules, the stream runs uphill; and many more.
In almost all patriarchal societies, such proverbs are common. They have become part of their daily communication and reflect not just wisdom but linguistic sexism and gender discrimination.
Proverbs as Oral Tradition
Proverbs are oral traditions and are part of folk literature. They are folklore sayings and are transmitted through texts, cultures, and languages from one generation to the next.
According to German folklore and author Wolfgang Mieder:
"A proverb is a short, generally known sentence of the folk which contains wisdom, truth, morals, and traditional views in a metaphorical, fixed, and memorable form."
In the early years, ordinary people were used to memorizing proverbs. Because these proverbs contain literary techniques and had metamorphic, thematic, and fixed structures. Proverbs in different cultures express perceived facts based on incidents, knowledge, and common sense and have a major role in human communication, be it in oral or written form.
Women In Different Pakistani Proverbial Language
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| Proverbs Against Women |
Individuals from different cultures made proverbs, and cultural factors influenced the language choices used in these proverbs. So, one can perceive gender disparities among different cultures from the languages used in these proverbs.
In different languages, proverbs possess a specific place because of their precision and conciseness. They are called the mirrors of cultures and are part of moral and social teachings.
Proverbs against women, or anti-women proverbs, are a mechanism to reinforce the image of virtuous and evil women. In these derogatory proverbs, women are expected to be obedient to men, and if any woman fails to follow the norms or dares to challenge such stereotypes, they are called sinister and evil.
Pakistan is an oracy-based society where proverbs are used frequently, especially in countryside areas. The use of proverbs is still appreciated in Pakistan's patriarchal cultures and occupies a specific space in oral and written literature. The proverbial ethnological account of dominant Pakistani languages reflects the relationship between different genders, languages, and cultures. These witty proverbs like Wali Run Proniyan Jogi (ویہلی رنْ پرونیاں جوگی) which means a shirker woman is also a talkative woman, who serves guests only with her talks, Jis Ki Bandria Wo He Nachwae (جیہدی باندری اوہوای نچاوے) here the woman is compared with a monkey and according to this proverbs a woman whom she belonged is handled by him, such type of proverbs reflect our traditional and cultural representation of women through communal expression. Since our culture is more family-oriented, most of them in the Pakistani language have references to domestic connections.
In Pakistan, we have different ethnicities and cultures like Punjabi, Hindu, Muhajir, Seraiki, Sindhi, Balochi, Hazaras, Kashmiris, Pakhtuns, and others. They are consistent with the Whorfian theory of linguistic determinism and relativism. They have their values and norms, where women as individuals are neither appreciated nor accepted.
Proverbs against women in the Urdu, Punjabi, and Sindhi languages
In Pakistan, women are seen and commented on, in various contexts. If they are daughters, they are considered troublesome and threatening to the family, if she is a wife she is portrayed as ugly and dangerous, if she is a daughter-in-law she is a witch, and if she is a mother-in-law she is a devil.
Here are some proverbs from different Pakistani languages are stated, which show how Pakistani women are segregated from men in our society, how they are oppressed and denied from their own basic rights. Like:
Urdu Proverb:
Jis Main Chamak Nahi Woh Heera Nahin,
Jis Main Damak Nahi Woh Aurat Nahi.
Literal Meaning:
A diamond without glitter is not a diamond, and a woman without sparkle is not a woman.
Connotative Meaning:
Urdu Proverb:
Aoonth Ki Pakar Aur Aurat Ki Makar Se Allah Bachae.
Literal Meaning:
One cannot escape from the grip of a camel,
and the snare of a woman.
Connotative Meaning:
We can witness derogatory comparisons of women to animals in multiple proverbs. In this proverb, women are called treacherous, and their nature is compared with camels. It means when a furious camel catches someone, it kills them. In the same way, if an illicit relationship occurs with a woman, the death of one of the acquaintances or the husband would be sure.
Urdu Proverb:
Sali, Adhi Gharwali.
Literal Meaning:
A sister-in-law is a half-wife.
Connotative Meaning:
In patriarchal societies, a wife's sister is considered a half-wife, which means the sister of the wife has to obey and take care of her brother-in-law (the sister's husband) in the same way as her sister takes care of him. This proverb is used in a double-meaning sense because husbands use this proverb to justify their sexist comments about their sisters-in-law (wife's sister).
Urdu Proverb:
Budhi ghoori, lal lagam.
Literal Meaning:
An old mare wearing a red bridle
An aged woman dressed like a young girl.
Mutton dressed as a lamb
Old mare, red reigns
Connotative Meaning:
This proverb has many literal meanings, and in Pakistan, it means any aged woman who acts or fashions as if she is a young girl loses her respect and credibility. In Pakistani culture, women get more respect and dignity as they grow older.
Urdu Proverb:
Gareeb Ki Joro Sub Ki Bhabhi.
Gareeb Ki Bivi, Sub Ki Bhabhi
Sindhi Proverb:
Gareeb Ji Joe, Sabh Ji Bhajae
Literal Meaning:
A poor man's wife is a sister-in-law to all (here, sister-in-law means brother's wife).
Connotative Meaning:
This proverb is available in several Pakistani dialects. According to this proverb, a poor man is miserable because everyone in the family and friends tries to take what is his. Even his wife is impoverished like him, and she is like a sister-in-law (wife of a brother) to all family members. She has to do all the house chores without uttering a single word for her rights.
Urdu Proverb:
Duthi Chiti Chamri Pul Gae Amri
Literal Meaning:
He forgot his mother for the love of his wife.
Connotative Meaning:
The proverb refers to a married son, portrayed as miserable, and women as rivals. When the son gets married to a girl (who is beautiful and has a white complexion), he forgets his mother. Here, it means his wife takes all his time, attention, and love.
In our joint-family culture, sons are mostly not allowed to live separate from their parents, and within joint families, sometimes mothers-in-law are portrayed as villains. They want their sons to be more obedient and loving toward them than their wives.
Urdu Proverb:
Joro Ka Ghulam
Sindhi Meaning:
Run Mureed
Literal Meaning:
A Slave To His Wife
Connotative Meaning:
In a patriarchal society like Pakistan, a man is a breadwinner and household head. When a man shares household responsibilities with his wife, he is called a slave to his wife. It means that helping with domestic chores is strongly discouraged for a man and it is as considered an insult to his glory and honor.
Urdu Proverb:
Jhagray ki Batein Teen: Zun, Zar, Zamen
Or: Zan, Zar, Zamen, Teeeno Larae Kay Ghar
Literal Meaning:
There are three matters of dispute: women, money, and land (property).
Connotative Meaning:
Whatever conflicts arise in this world, they are over money, land, property, or women. Again, women in this proverb are humiliated by men. In our society, women are called the source of contention among people. It reflects the pathetic status of women in history.
Urdu Proverb:
Biyahi Larki, Parosi Dakhil.
Literal Meaning:
A married daughter is like a neighbor to her parents.
Connotative Meaning:
It means the house of parents is a foreign domain for married daughters. This proverb creates a sense of non-belonging and displacement for married daughters, which means once they are married, consider them neighbors. In our culture, the elders always advise their married daughters to stay calm, patient, and tolerant of everything, even if they have to compromise their lives for the sake of marriage.
Urdu Proverb:
Beti Paraya Dhunn Hoti Hay
Literal Meaning:
A daughter is a treasure that belongs to others.
Connotative Meaning:
A daughter is taught from an early age that her parents' home is only a temporary place for her to live. Once she gets married, she will leave them. It means the home of the husband is the permanent home for her.
Urdu Proverb:
Ap haray bahu ke/ko maray
Literal Meaning:
When a man loses money in gambling and comes and beats his wife
Or Taking the opportunity to blame others for your own mistakes
Or Blaming others to erase your shame
Connotative Meaning:
This proverb highlights the vulnerability of women who are blamed for others' mistakes. In our society, men are authoritarians and women are feeble. A woman is an easy target for a man's malicious slander and violence.
Urdu Proverb:
Jis Ka Ghar Woh He Nahi Ghar
Literal Meaning:
A Woman Who Crosses All Limits In The Absence Of Her Husband
Connotative Meaning:
This proverb is about those women who roam in the absence of their husbands. So, here, wives are portrayed as sinful women, and husbands are advised to control and domesticate such wives.
Urdu Proverb:
Bivi Ki Mout Aur Kohni Ki Chot Barabar Hoti Hai
Literal Meaning:
The death of the wife and the injury to the elbow are equal.
Connotative Meaning:
A woman's death who devotes her entire life to her husband, in-laws, and children is akin to a bubble bursting. This proverb emphasizes the importance of a wife to her husband, implying that when she dies, it affects her husband in the same way an elbow injury does. Both injuries cause severe pain, but it is temporary.
Sindhi Proverb:
Ba Aurton, Hik Mard
Tadahen Thiye Shaheedi Pori
Urdu Meaning:
Ek Mard Ki Gawahe, Do Aurton Ki Gawahe, Brabar Hoti Hay.
Literal Meaning:
One Man's Testimony Is Equal To Two Women's Testimony.
Connotative Meaning:
This proverb has a religious context, where two women's testimonies are equal to one man's.
In our society, men take advantage of anti-woman statements for personal gain. Some interpreters justify their statements by calling women less capable than men in logic, trustworthiness, and intellectualism. These misogynists also justify their statements by claiming that women are weak, physically, and psychologically incapable, so their testimony is only half as reliable.
However, we all know women have faced prejudice and oppression for centuries. They were the least familiar with the political, social, and economic spheres. Therefore, the testimony of another woman was required to support and shield the testimony of the first woman.
Sindhi Proverb:
Run Wae Per Ralli Bhi Wae
Urdu Meaning:
Bivi Gae Per Sath Sub Kuch Le Gae
Literal Meaning:
When a wife leaves her husband, she takes everything with her.
Connotative Meaning:
Once again, in this proverb, a wife is criticized and displays societal bias against women. When a wife separates from her husband, she is used to taking all the home belongings with her. This means she takes everything with her, even the respect of her husband.
Sindhi Proverb:
Mard Rulay Ta Khulay, Run Rulay Ta Bhulay.
Urdu Meaning:
Agar Koe Adami Bahir Jata Hay / Ghumta Phirta Hay To Wo Sekhta Hay, Agar Ek Aurat Bahir Jati Hy Tu Wo Bhatak Jati Hay
Literal Meaning:
If a man roams around, he opens up
If a woman wanders around, she will get lost.
Connotative Meaning:
This proverb emphasizes gender stereotypes and gender roles. Women are valued in patriarchal societies for remaining within the four walls of the home. They are advised not to go out because they will get lost (here, getting lost means they can easily be trapped and engage in malicious activities).
However, men are urged to explore and discover new things. The more he wanders, the more he will open and learn.
Sindhi Proverb:
Nae Kunwar Nawan Dehan, Chande Fokay Dah Dehan, Yahron Dehyun Payus, Kiri Maan Wayus
Urdu Meaning:
Nae Dulhan Nu Din Ki Hoti Hay,
Ya Ziada Se Ziada Dus Din Ki,
Jese He Gayarwan Din Parta Hay
To Us Ka Maan Gir Jata Hay
Literal Meaning:
The New Bride Is the Bride for just a few days,
As the days pass on (hardly within eleven days)
Her Honor Lost
Connotative Meaning:
After marriage, a daughter-in-law receives only a brief period of attention and respect from her in-laws. Later (hardly after a week of her marriage), she is asked to take charge of all household chores for the rest of her life.
It is customary in almost all cultures where daughters-in-law are expected to follow societal norms and family rules and regulations as soon as possible.
Sindhi Proverb:
Ghr Jae ghr mein daji
Urdu Meaning:
Literal Meaning:
Connotative Meaning:
Most girls in Pakistani culture, particularly in tribal areas, are forced to marry their first cousins. Girls, particularly those belonging to landlord families, have no right to marry whomever they want because tribal landlords, want to keep their properties with close relatives.
Sindhi Proverb:
Urdu Meaning:
Literal Meaning:
His father has to work hard so that his daughter prospers.
Connotative Meaning:
In patriarchal societies, daughters are considered a burden to their fathers and brothers. This proverb denotes that a daughter is a burden and troublesome, especially for her father and brothers, since her father and brothers have to work hard to bear her marriage expenses, dowry, and other stuff to make her in-laws happy.
Sindhi Proverb:
Run Bah Dhari Churi Hundi Aahe
Urdu Meaning:
Aurat/Bivi Do Dhari Talwar Hoti Hy
Literal Meaning:
A wife is a double-edged knife.
Connotative Meaning:
In this proverb, women are mocked and ridiculed. Here, the female tongue, or gossip, is like a two-edged sharp knife, which causes deep cuts into the body and can harm you. It means women have bitter tongues, which can cause deep soul wounds.
Sindhi Proverb:
Peerrah Hillay Per Nuhon Na Hillay.
Urdu Meaning:
Takhat ya sofa to hill Sakta hai, per us pay bethi bahu nahi hill sakhti.
Punjabi Proverb:
Veela Na Waqt Bi Bi Charh Bethi Takhat (ویلا نہ وقت بی بی چڑھ بیٹھی تخت)
Literal Meaning:
Connotative Meaning:
It is about slacker daughters-in-law who spend their days lying in bed doing nothing. This proverb describes the societal expectations and gender roles placed on daughters-in-law, who are supposed to do all household chores and satisfy their in-laws by working nonstop all day.
Punjabi Proverb:
Dhee kisey di mandi nahi, ty nooh kisy di changay nahi
Urdu Meaning:
Beti, kisi ki Buri Nahi Hoti
Bahu, kisi ki Achi Nahi Hoti
Literal Meaning:
No one's daughter is bad, and no one’s bride/daughter-in-law is nice
Connotative Meaning:
The proverb describes the bond between in-laws and daughters-in-law. Daughters are ideal for in-laws, but daughters-in-law are not.
We can see such aggressive attitudes in almost every proverb against women, where either one or both are considered rivals to each other.
Punjabi Proverb:
Wehli Run Shetan Da Charkha
Urdu Meaning:
Farig Aurat, Sheetan Ka Ghar
Literal Meaning:
An idle wife is just a satanic machine.
Connotative Meaning:
When a wife is idle or free and has nothing to do, she thinks and plays evil gimmicks because this proverb contrasts her mind with the satanic machine.
Punjabi Proverb:
Jeha Doodh, Tehi Budh....
Urdu Meaning:
جیسا دودھ ویسی عقل
Literal Meaning:
The nature of a kid takes after the milk (mother feed) he/she takes.
Connotative Meaning:
This proverb means that as the mother is, so are the children, or as the parents, so the children. In our society, if a child is well-groomed, their father is appreciated, and if any child is unkempt, then fingers are raised against the upbringing of a mother.
Conclusion
The above study shows the importance of proverbs in our indigenous cultures and exposes how they play an adverse role in stereotypical society against women. It reveals how linguistic sexism in proverbs creates negative images of women through powerful mechanisms for maintaining and enforcing gender bias and patriarchal values. It further exposes that women in patriarchal societies are only praised in the role of mother.
Like other cultures, Pakistanis also believe in proverbial culture. They consider proverbs as truthful explanations based on experience and traditional wisdom, which play a vital role in strengthening gender discrimination and subordination of women. Through these witty proverbs, one can understand the traditional and cultural representation of women in male-dominated societies.
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